Fresh Tracks, Inc.™ Guide Posts

Trailblazers are more likely than those leaders who stick with the tried and true path to find themselves facing resistance from others.  Often this resistance comes from a difficult coworker who is attempting to impede the trailblazer from achieving innovation.  They may be jealous or fearful.  Or something else entirely may be behind an often heated attempt to stop the innovation from manifesting. 

If you are an aspiring trailblazer, realize that YOU own the decision about how to handle your situation.

Your options are several: ignore, avoid, accommodate, defer to someone else, or confront.  Anything close to flight or fight doesn’t usually work.

Instead, to best deal with a difficult coworker, I suggest you keep moving forward while remaining detached from your colleague’s negative energy.  Don’t engage in your co-worker’s attempts at drama. 

Accept and expect disharmony on the path to innovation.  Trailblazing leadership takes guts and perseverance.

Below are 13 communication tools that are sure to keep you moving forward:

1. Don’t take it personally

Focus on the business issue at hand rather than on your colleague.  KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE. Who knows why your coworker is behaving badly.  DON’T ASSUME IT’S YOU.

Don’t reveal things about yourself.  Never show vulnerability during a heated discussion.

If it turns out you made a mistake.  Immediately admit it.  Make no excuses.  Recognize that a criticism of your work is not a criticism of you.  Don’t let it damage your self-esteem.  Just address the issue and explain how you’ll remedy it, or ask what you can do to remedy the situation.

2. Practice positive self-talk

Acknowledge your colleague’s behavior as mischief.  Say to yourself, “This is mischief!”  Think of yourself as the bemused parent dealing with a child who is attempting to push your buttons.

3. Watch your body language 

In Silent Messages by Albert Mehrabian, it’s reported that, on average, people who are in a conversation with you spend recall your only 7% of WHAT you say, 38% of HOW you said it, and a whopping 55% of HOW YOU LOOKED when you spoke.

Practice the below techniques in a mirror at home:

• Turning and face the person.
• Making eye contact.
• Being in the moment.
• Looking like you are concerned about your co-worker.  
• Keeping your body stance open and not rigid or “in your face.”
• Exuding an air of quiet confidence and CALM.

If you have kids, you can practice this when they are having a melt down!  It’s hard, but it works.

4. Build rapport by validating your coworker’s feelings

Use your colleague’s name and acknowledge details about person to make them feel special.  If he or she seems pained, acknowledge it.  Try: “I’m sorry you’re under so much pressure.” Or, “I can see you’re in pain.”  By making these comments, you’re helping your colleague feel heard, and you are letting any drama flow right by you.

5, Gain leverage

Actively listen in a state of childlike curiosity.  Think of yourself as an anthropologist studying a new species.  Nod and don’t interrupt.  Don’t respond to statements (or insulting questions and comments).  Expect attempts to bait you. Completely ignore what I call emotional detonators, revisionist spin or unrelated tangents. Keep refocusing the conversation on the topic.

Don’t criticize.  Don’t contradict.

BONUS:  Try repeating your coworker’s last 3 or 4 words phrased like a question, to get more information.  DON’T TRY TO FIX.  Just listen to your coworker’s complaints until you are certain that he/she feels heard out and listened to.

When (or if) your coworker pauses, ask direct how and what questions.  AVOID WHY QUESTIONS.  Instead, listen for their needs, wants, and desires.   Ask:  “What is your question for me?”  “How can I best help you?”

DOUBLE BONUS:  If you take the time to know their interests, you’ll have a way to reach your goal without upsetting you or them. Knowing their agenda empowers you to make a request or to offer a potential solution in win-win terms they will value.

6. Be brief

When the going gets tough, be assertive, yet brief, direct and precise.  Not aggressive. Speak calmly and slowly without emotion.  Again, you’re the calm and respectful parent in these situations.

Use few words and a black and white communication style: yes/no, if/then, either/or.

7. Stick to business and the facts

Whenever you have to initiate a discussion with a difficult coworker, take the time to write down three to five main points, and stick to them.

If you have to speak about a situation you observed, DO NOT MIND READ.  Avoid assumptions.  Stick to what you saw, felt or heard.

8. Let your colleague know the result of his or her actions

If correction is needed, start off positive.  Acknowledge your coworker’s positive intentions or behavior.  Second, begin your request/offer with “In the future, I suggest…” or “You might consider…” Conclude with your request/offer.

9. Disarm a screamer

Keep your own voice subdued.  Think Clint Eastwood or Angelina Jolie in an action movie — before all hell breaks loose ;-).

Calmly state something like: “You seem rushed.”  “It looks like you have a lot going on today.”  “I know you’re just trying to do your best.“  “I am having difficulty understanding what you want.”

9. Don’t even begin to dialogue or call a HALT if you are stressed or bullied

Never discuss a sensitive topic when you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.  Or already stressed.

If you start to heat up, remind yourself of that the prize is in sight.  If you’re too hot to talk calmly, call a halt.   Say, “Let me think about that and get back to you in X.” 

Remember that a heated situation is emotional, reflexive, fast. Your brain moves into flight or fight mode.  You can’t think clearly in this state.

The instant your colleague uses insults, sarcasm, criticism or the blame game, call a halt. Boundaries are non-negotiable.  Tell your colleague, “I need to put this conversation on hold.  Let’s talk in X when we both can speak professionally.”  Then walk away.  If you are in your own office, leave and go somewhere your colleague isn’t likely to follow you.

11. Keep people in the loop

If you can’t talk to your colleague immediately when they contact you, or you’re running late, give him or her a brief reason about why you can’t talk now and when you can.

12. Take care of yourself — especially if your coworkers bad behavior becomes chronic

While you keep your eye on the innovation prize, maintain balance in your life.

• Remember food and water are your body’s fuel.
• Cut out stimulants like caffeine & nicotine that rev you up and heighten your emotional triggers making you more sensitive to those around you.
• Get plenty of sleep – probably more than what you are getting now.
• Listen to upbeat music as your travel to and from work.
• Surround yourself with smart, positive people who keep things fun.
• Remember to smile!

13. Stay open-minded

There are many leadership lessons when your goal is true innovation.  Trailblazers are often on a hero’s journey where trials are many and each test is a learning moment that makes one stronger and wiser.

What techniques have you used successfully when dealing with a difficult co-worker?

To continue the discussion, comment below or connect with me through one of my networks below:

 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/betseydalbeck

Twitter:  ftitrailblazer

Facebook: Fresh Tracks, Inc.

As I said in part one of this two part series post, I was fascinated to find that the ten new leadership skills Author and Futurist Bob Johansen shares in his book, Leaders Make The Future - Ten New Leadership Skills for an Uncertain World, were all demonstrated during Egypt’s recent 18 Day Revolution.

This world event is likely to be the tipping point that Bob and his colleagues at the Institute for The Future (IFTF) forecasted in their 10-year forecast of 2010 - 2020 named the ”Threshold Decade.” The forecast calls for 10 years of extreme challenge characterized by increased volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity (VUCA for short).

Employing the future leader skills Bob describes in his book, the people of Egypt appear (from my distant vantage point here in America) to successfully navigate the challenging and unpredictable situation they found themselves in.  Further, when combined, these skills appeared to help swing the outcome towards freedom for the Egyptian people.  Given their effectiveness in Egypt, some of these same skills appear to be being employed currently by the citizens of Libya, Bahrain, Yemen and Iran who are also seeking change. 

The Ten New Leadership Skills Demonstrated During Egyptian Revolution

To help you understand what I mean, I’ll outline each of the ten skills below (in a slightly different order than Bob shared in his book), and I’ll tie each to a person or group that seemed to exemplify this skill during the recent 18 Day Revolution in Egypt.  What appears in italics below is how Bob defines each.  What follows is my interpretation of how the skill was exemplified in recent Egypt events.

1. Clarity - Ability to see through messes and contradictions to the future that others cannot yet see.  I describe this as the trailblazer trait toSee Beyond the Horizon.  The majority of Egyptians are under age 30 and live in a weak economy with few job opportunities and, until the revolution, an unresponsive government. They wanted things to change. They envisioned a brighter future full of opportunities supported by a government that exists to protect and preserve its peoples’ freedom.
2. Maker Instinct  - Ability to make the future and involve others in the making.  This skill relates to the Exploring New Missions trailblazer trait.  The movement that ended Mubarak’s regime is said to have started back in the summer of 2010, when friends of a recently murdered young computer programmer created a Facebook group page to bring attention to the police brutality and murder of their friend.  They chose not to fight violence with violence, but with words, videos and pictures.
3. Commons Creating - Ability to stimulate, grow and nurture shared assets that can benefit other players — and allow competition at a higher level.  The Facebook page became the “new commons” platform for group members to share videos and posts to discuss their growing angst with Egypt’s leadership.  According to a Google executive and political activist Wael Ghonim, the page soon grew to receive 50,000 visitors.
4. Smart Mob Organizing - Ability to bring together, engage with, and nurture purposeful business or social change networks through intelligent use of electronic and other media. Egyptian activists, seeing the ground swell of support against poverty, unemployment, government corruption and Mubarak, turned to Facebook and Twitter to organize a “day of rage” protest that attracted thousands of protesters. Given the success of this first demonstration, other protests followed.
5. Rapid Prototyping - Ability to create quick early versions of new innovations, with the expectation that later success will require early failures.  During the protests, Facebook, Twitter and Blackberry Messenger services were disrupted.  For five days, Egyptians reported that they couldn’t get online or text. Al Jazeera said its broadcast signal across the Arab region was being compromised. So, the resourceful team at Google went to work on its speak2tweet technology specifically for the people in Egypt.  Further, Al Jeezera English set up a Tumblr blog and began livestreaming from Facebook, ultimately becoming viewed around the world as the CNN Of The Egypt Revolution.
6. Dilemma Flipping - Ability to turn dilemmas (which can’t be solved) into opportunities.  This skill should remind my readers of my recent post titledDoing the NEXT Right Thing.  Google exec Wael Ghonim flipped his arrest and multi-day incarceration by Egypt state authorities into the communication spark that led to the biggest crowd of protest demonstrators, including Egyptians who returned from abroad to join in the protests. Wael Ghonim’s release appears to have fueled the turning point in the protests, and has earned him a potential leadership role in Egypt’s pro-democracy camp — if he chooses to step in to such a role.
7. Immersive Learning Ability - Ability to dive into “different for you” worlds.  Journalists from all over he world, such as American journalist Nicholas Kristof, arrived in Cairo and headed to Tarhir Square.  These foreign journalists were eager to get a firsthand experience of the wave of change at the epicenter of Egypt’s protest movement.  They then reported on their experiences using social media so people like me could better understand what was happening over in Egypt 24/7.
8. Bio-Empathy - Ability to see things from nature’s point-of-view.  This world event brought much of humanity together in the realization that we’re all connected. Together, we from a distance, and Egyptians who were there, watched Egyptians young and old from every neighborhood fill the streets of Cairo as the protests grew.  We saw an older Egyptian woman kiss a young Egyptian soldier that could have been her son and both smile at each other afterwards.  We watched a human chain of protesters form to guard the Egyptian Museum from looting.  We watched and cheered the Egyptians raising their voices for freedom.  And we rejoiced in their victory and pray that they will be granted the right to determine their own leaders.
9. Quiet Transparency - Ability to be open and authentic about what matters to you — without advertising yourself.  The Egyptian protesters chose the high road and demonstrated restraint.  They chose the path of peaceful protests. In addition, from my take, no one leader rose up to lead drown out the voice of the people.  Leadership was shared.  It really appeared to be the voice of THE PEOPLE.  In turn, the soldiers stood by, more as silent security and patriots, trying to ensure peaceful demonstrations.
10. Constructive Depolarization - Ability to calm tense situations where differences dominate and communication has broken down — and bring divergent cultures toward constructive engagement.  In the days and weeks ahead, Egypt’s emerging leaders must begin a dialogue that leads to a safer, healthier and more prosperous Egypt for all its citizens.  If needed and asked, other countries such as the U.S. may be able to help with diplomacy, development and aid to keep Egypt moving forward toward freedom and opportunity.

The above examples should make each of Bob’s ten future leader skills more concrete and relevant.  As I said in part one of this series, current trailblazers already possess many of these skills, and aspiring trailblazers who are techniques shared in my posts are gaining the right mastery as well. For greater context and preparedness to lead others through the challenging, I strongly suggest adding this book to you Trailblazer Survival Kit.

Positive Reframe of VUCA

I agree with Bob that our future leaders, who learn to embrace leading in what could be an uncomfortable world, can ultimately flip VUCA into something a lot more positive.  As he suggests, they can create a world of Vision, Understanding, Clarity and Agility.

Wouldn’t that be something?

Have you ever been reading a book and suddenly its contents begins to come alive right in front of you?

Well, that’s what has happened over the past weeks as I read Author and Futurist Bob Johansen’sLeaders Make The Future - Ten New Leadership Skills for an Uncertain World.

Back in December, after hearing Bob Johansen speak at Boston area HRLF, I picked up his book to dig deeper into the new set of skills Bob predicts future leaders will need to operate effectively in the years ahead.  After reading the book over the past 30 days, I am very confident that current trailblazers already possess many of these skills, and aspiring trailblazers who are applying the suggestions in my earlier posts are gaining the right mastery as well.  Both groups should read this book as well to get additional contextual insights, skill building tips and instruction.

We’re All Living in the “Threshold Decade” 

 Bob’s book draws on the latest 10-year forecast from the Institute for the Future (IFTF), a 40+ year old independent nonprofit research group in Silicon Valley where Bob is currently a Distinguished Fellow after serving as IFTF’s president from 1996 to 2004.

IFTF calls this the “Threshold Decade” because they predict that during 2010 - 2020 the world will reach a tipping point of extreme challenge characterized by increased volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity (VUCA for short).  IFTF predicts angst over the global rich/poor disparities will grow beyond the issue of access to survival basics (e.g., healthy food, clean water, good health care, and adequate housing). Global angst will expand to include concerns over: the shift from rural to urban to offshore in emerging countries; shifty and shifting financial practices; food safety; global climate change; open source warfare; and body/brain performance amplification.

IFTF’s bottom-line paraphrased:  Given the unpredictability, murkiness and organic nature of changes ahead, the traditional skills many of our current leaders have studied and mastered will no longer ensure their success — in any sector.

The Tipping Point Just Happened in Egypt

The above statement, while a bit harsh, is proving to be true already and its only 2011.  In fact, the unrest and demand for change that began in Tunisia and moved into the Middle East gained worldwide 24/7 visibility through the mass use of web-based mobile devices and social network platforms (such as Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr).  It just may be the tipping point Bob predicts in his book.  It certainly is a clear signal that like-minded groups (called diasporas in the book) can organize into “smart mobs” to create “new commons” to influence the status quo, topple leaders, and drive major change WITHIN DAYS!

Ten New Leadership Skills Revealed…Tomorrow! 

Since unpredictability is emerging as the ONLY given, and, therefore, THE Game Changer, Bob calls to future leaders to master ten essential skills to lead in an uncertain world.

Tomorrow’s post will share these ten skills and tie them to the events that recently occurred in Egypt.